Ethan Milner: Go Now Into It

Photo: Joanna C. Valente

Go Now Into It

            I am here
now: now is when
numbness pearls in
the palm of my hand.
Now when I press my
hands to my face, I
form with darkness
a lagoon and this
too dampens the feeling
of feeling. Not dull,
drowning, not even
pain: I now buzz like
the ghost will soon
leave me. It won’t
leave me. Soon I will
soothe and recall that
panic itself has no
order and less
meaning. Now
I will go to
the ghost,

            whatever it may mean,
whatever I might be.   

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Ethan Milner (he/him) is a writer and a Clinical Social Worker in Oregon, practicing psychotherapy at a school for youth with special needs. His work has most recently appeared in Cotton Xenomorph and The Scores. Ethan's poetry has also recently appeared in the anthologies 'Spectral Lines: Poems About Scientists' by Alternating Current Press, and 'No Tender Fences: An Anthology of Immigrant & First-Generation American Poetry' to benefit RAICES-Texas. He can be found on Twitter @confident_memes and at ethanwritten.com.