8 Things That Might Make You Happier & Get You Off the Internet
By Joanna C. Valente
Modern life is the internet. Or so it seems. Modern life seems to happen between the air, those electrical wires, that ephemeral place called the world wide web. As an artist who promotes myself through social media, and stays in touch with friends through these platforms, it seems almost impossible to “unplug.” But unplugging is what I need and want to do to live. To stay emotionally healthy and happy. Unplugging sometimes seems like the only authentic thing I can do, especially in an age where everyone has a brand and is concerned about that brand on a daily basis.
This isn’t a criticism of the internet. It’s part of how we consume information, learn, love, and create. In some ways, it’s a love letter, but it’s also a love letter to ourselves, our bodies, our minds, and our spirits. This doesn’t mean we need to throw it all out, but like with most things in life, it’s about moderation. And technology, like social platforms, is still so new, so clearly we haven’t figured it out yet.
Being online, thus available all the time, isn’t realistic, both for career purposes and for community. For many people like myself, we find communities online, whether LGBTQ+, chronic illness, or art. Community happens everywhere we allow it to. That being said, I wanted to be online less. I wanted to be more present and mindful in my physical life, because as awesome as the online community is, it can’t be everything.
So I began to think about how I use my time, and have been prioritizing ways to limit my screen time. Here are ways that work for me.
1. Learn a language with Duolingo
What’s more valuable than learning another language? Language is what connects all of us together. So, lately, my partner and I have been learning Italian using Duolingo. While he’s actually taking an Italian class right now, I wanted to be supportive and help him learn, especially since we both want to travel and potentially live in Italy one day. For those who can’t easily travel or take a class, this is also a great way to dive into a language.
Clearly, this makes sense for us (as it’s also free) - and it’s a fun way for us to do something together that is also educational. Of course, you don’t need to have a partner to make this happen, but learning with someone is helpful, especially if you can’t take a class yourself.
2. Try a new recipe every month
Last year, my resolution was to make a new recipe every month. While I can’t say I kept track of that resolution (as with most), I do cook a lot, and often try to do new things. The resolution itself acted like a prompt for me in the back of my mind to take old recipes and make them new.
Besides the obvious reasons to cook more (like saving money, being healthier), I’ve found it to be meditative and therapeutic, and a great group activity. I often invite friends over and cook with or for them, which is far more intimate than going to a bar. As someone who rarely drinks, I barely want to socialize over drinks, so socializing over making food has become one of my favorite things to do.
3. Schedule phone dates with friends
In an effort to get away from the internet, I try to talk on the phone more with friends. Because of schedules and location, it’s not always possible to hang out in person, but phones (especially video chatting) can be a great way to connect with someone and be present, even if just for five minutes.
Making ourselves available and mindful is how we can stay in touch and maintain our relationships. We don’t need epic catch ups; rather, I try to think of it this way: If I can’t find a few minutes for someone, what am I doing that’s so important? Why not?
4. Write letters and send cards
Similar to phone calls, sending a note, even a quick note, says a lot. It shows someone you’re thinking of them and that you value them. It’s an intimate act that involves some thought and planning. I’ve found that when I’m especially busy, it’s nice to sit down and write notes, both to pause for myself, but to let someone know that even if I’m not always around, I still care.
5. Check out free museum days by yourself
Museums are my happy place, but even if they aren’t yours, they’re a great place to relax and learn. I enjoy going and finding a place to draw, or spend time with an exhibit. Having alone time is important and reflecting on art is a wonderful way to learn about other cultures - and yourself. It’s easy to view art online and realize, however awesome it is, viewing something in person has no comparison.
6. Meditate for a few minutes each day
Quieting your brain isn’t easy for most people. It’s definitely not for me as someone who has a million thoughts a minute. But I’ve found that meditating even just a few minutes every day makes a huge difference for me with mindfulness, managing anxiety, and just putting everything into perspective. I prefer mornings, but whenever you can fit it in works too. This is a free meditation app you can use to help aid the process.
7. Choose a night each week to do "self-care"
While self-care is a hot topic right now, that often gets too easily capitalized, it is a real thing everyone deserves. We’re all busy and we all need to pause and relax. Personally, I love doing facials, face masks, nails, and baths.
These are just ways I happen to relax; it may not work for you, but finding a way to relax and take care of your body is key to being present and healthy, without relegating to rapid scrolling on your phone that ultimately isn’t emotionally healthy.
8. Choose a new thing to learn about and actually study it - even better, get a friend to join you
Whether or not you take a physical class, enroll in an online course, or research something on your own, dive into something new. Challenge yourself. Life is short, so why not? It’s also a great way to find an activity you can do with a friend or partner that allows you to maintain and nurture the relationship - and yourself.
Joanna C. Valente is a human who lives in Brooklyn, New York. They are the author of Sirs & Madams, The Gods Are Dead, Marys of the Sea, Sexting Ghosts, Xenos, No(body), #Survivor, (forthcoming, The Operating System), and is the editor of A Shadow Map: Writing by Survivors of Sexual Assault. They received their MFA in writing at Sarah Lawrence College. Joanna is the founder of Yes Poetry and the senior managing editor for Luna Luna Magazine. Some of their writing has appeared in The Rumpus, Them, Brooklyn Magazine, BUST, and elsewhere. Joanna also leads workshops at Brooklyn Poets. joannavalente.com / Twitter: @joannasaid / IG: joannacvalente / FB: joannacvalente
